I have been so quiet. I think it’s because I’m slightly terrified of what is next. I read my old blog and I don’t know that I know that person anymore. New fears have replaced the old ones… and these fears somehow seem heavier than ever. Well, I think I used to be funny (emphasis on “I think”). It’s hard to have a sense of humor when the consequences of this not working out are so much more serious this time around.
I don’t think I would survive. That’s some super scary shit.
So it’s easier to be quiet.
I try to lie and tell myself that I am not that huge. I said this to my husband and he said… “Yea, keep telling yourself that.” HAHAHAH! As I near the end of the second trimester, it’s time I wear strictly maternity clothes. Up until this point, I could get away with a non maternity shirt with maternity pants, or vice versa. About two weeks ago this stomach just popped out of no where.
I am officially 26 weeks. Insane.
Hallmark has Christmas ornaments out. I walked by and one caught my attention. “Babies first Christmas 2013.” I had to buy it. I also cried in Hallmark by myself like a freak. Never ever ever did I think we would ever get to this point. The moments that force me to realize that this is actually a reality are the ones that make me super emotional.
Purchasing things for the baby is a slippery slope. Once you start, you can not stop. I’m obsessed.
Operation “Get babies Room” together is in full effect. I am so excited about the room that I can barely contain myself. I purchased the crib on Craigslist a while ago. We just got a changing table from Ikea for $50.00, and I re purposed an office armoire that we’ve had for years. My husband has his work clothes in the closet in that room, instead of relocating it I decided to convert the armoire into a closet for her. I also have a grandmother that is a pretty amazing sewer. Instead of purchasing the bedding, I bought fabric and I’m having her make a crib skirt, a rail cover (instead of a bumper), curtains, a crib quilt and some pillows for the floor. I hate to admit to a theme, but it’s under the sea… (kind of). More adult like… I just hate the kiddy stuff out there. So far sea horses and mermaids with a coral printed fabric are the main stars. I can not wait for my grandmother to finish up the bedding. The walls are currently painted a blue, grey, green and I plan on keeping them that way partly because Im lazy and partly because I like the room semi neutral with pops of color.